Feminity in a daily life

 

"Dear diary, today I decided that every day I will dance, I will be more feminine, I won’t control my man, I won’t manipulate him, and I will simply be in my feminine energy…”
Hahahaha
I don’t know about you, but I’ve made these kinds of decisions about a million times and I still have to keep coming back to them.
Why? Why am I not connected with myself every day, dancing through life, living in “flow,” playing music, being that soft, beautiful, ethereal woman, people in the tram turn to look at — not just men — because her feminine energy shines all the way to the end of the world (or at least to the end of the tram 😋).

Is it because we live in a man’s world? Because we were born to mothers who grew up in communism, where it was work, work, and more work, for the good of the state, and children were raised for the “future” of the state? Or is it the times we live in? Where feminism took off, but somewhere along the way people forgot to explain what feminism actually is, when it’s healthy, and when it isn’t?
Probably all of it together…

When I lived in Prague (2017–2022), that’s when I explored femininity the most. I went to women’s circles, I led women’s new moon gatherings, I had several women’s yoga courses, I met with friends and we “did magic” around the fire or made cacao, I took care of kids… etc. A million things that were supposed to help me look and act more like a woman.
But I have to admit — now I am more of a woman when I’m not doing any of those things than when I used to do them.

But it’s not about doing them or not doing them! It’s about getting to know myself and accepting myself as I am. And since nature gave me a female body, the more connected I am with my body, the more feminine I am and the more feminine energy I radiate. Is that right?

At the same time, it’s so easy to get lost in all this rush. Now that I live in the city, I feel the rush a thousand times stronger. My work is also fast-paced — I constantly have to stay alert, keep solving things, take care of someone, listen to someone. And that’s where I lose myself!
My current job could be considered more feminine than masculine, yet I still get lost. I forget my daily (and I really tell myself this every morning) resolution: “Today I will walk slowly, speak slowly, be aware of my posture, listen to what my body is telling me.” And then I walk into work, people start talking to me, and it all disappears as quickly as the thought appeared. And it makes me sad…

I feel sad:

• that my mother didn’t teach me how to be a woman every day

• that I don’t make my femininity a priority (I put others first)

• that I don’t have many examples around me to motivate me

But I don’t have to despair! I know that with small steps I am moving toward that longed-for image of myself:
“a beautiful woman in a dress… smiling to herself… people notice her but she doesn’t notice them because she’s observing the flowers in the city garden… she walks her own path and she is happy, not because of what she has, but because she simply IS.”

And what steps can I take?

• for example, sharing this with other women who have the same issue

• changing the thoughts and images in my mind about myself every day

• pausing throughout the day to take a breath and remind myself of the essence of femininity that naturally exists within me

• adding one small habit/exercise to my morning routine that supports my femininity in that particular period (and this can change, because we are women — and we are variable, cyclical, and emotional 🥰)

How do YOU other women perceive this? Do you deal with this too? Do you feel how your body longs for feminine things, or do you not even realize why you don’t feel good in yourself?